Chad Ties-Up Time

Chad was having a good morning. In fact every morning for Chad was a good morning, why? Because Chad was Chad.

Chad rose at 5:00 AM and was in the gym by 5:25 AM. His work-out was in front of a mirror.

At 6:26 AM he was in the shower.

By 7:00 AM he was back at his condo.

From 7:03 AM until 7:33 AM he read and replied to emails and from 7:33 AM until 8:03 AM he read the top stories in the news online. From 8:05 AM until 8: 10 AM he showed again. He doesn’t feel the water from the gym is clean enough and is too hard for his skin and hair. From 8:10 AM until 8:45 AM Chad selects his clothing for the day, dresses. He checks every square centimeter of his face and neck for any blemish. He holds a mirror to check the back of his neck. He spends no less than fifteen minutes on his hair and ties his tie several times before it is just right.

At 8:50 he is in his car. At 8:55 he drives through Starbucks for his morning latte.

Chad walks into his work at the law offices of Chad Welker & Chad Welker Associates at 9:12 AM; one hour and twelve minutes behind everybody else.

He greets the receptionists with a smile. “Good morning, Miss Ames.”

Chad stops. Miss Ames said nothing.

“Good morning, Miss Ames,” Chad says again.

There is no reply.

Miss Ames is motionless. Chad stops and stoops to look in her eyes. They are void of any activity. He waves his had in front of her. There is no movement from her. Chad rushed into the office of his paralegals.

“Hey, you guys,” Chad says “What’s wrong with….” He stops. They are all frozen in place. Chad smiles and chuckles nervously. “Okay, great joke.”

Nobody responds.

Chad rushes back to Miss Ames’ desk in the lobby. He picks up the phone at Miss Ames’ desk. It is dead. He pulls his cell phone out; it’s dead. He looks at his watch; the second-hand is not moving. He hurries through all the offices; everyone is frozen in place. He checks his watch again. It is still 9:12 AM.

Chad rushed into his office. The TV was on, but the image was frozen and the time on the screen read 9:12 AM. He looked in the mirror; he was fully animated. He smiled, moved his eyes left to right, and flexed his eyebrows up and down.

“That tie!” Chad said. “It doesn’t work.”

Chad drove toward his condo. Everybody was frozen in place, cars were not moving, a plane that had left the runway at the airport was suspended; there was nothing moving, not even the clouds.

He quickly moved through the stand-still world and back to his condo. He rushed to his bedroom closet and picked out another tie. On the third try he had it just right.

Chad drove back to the office and walked in.

“Good morning, Miss Ames,” Chad said.

“Good morning, Mr. Welker,” Miss Ames said.

“Everything okay this morning, Miss Ames?” Chad said.

“Not till now,” Miss Ames said. “This place can’t run without you.”

Chad looked at his watch. The second-hand was moving.

“Nice tie,” Miss Ames said.

“Thanks, Miss Ames,” Chad said. “The first one I picked would have stopped time.”


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