The Ultimate Stoner

Did you wish you were ever anybody else?” Jake said and took a heavy drag. “Like switch with another person for awhile.”

“Oh yeah,” Bruce said. “I had this intense desire to switch places and be John Kennedy Jr.? He’s got looks, money, power, brains, women; you name it, he had it. Pass that over to me.”

“That’s cool,” Jake said. “He’s one I never thought about.”

“But that kind of thing never happens,” Bruce said taking a heavy drag.

“Sure, it does,” Jake says. “It happens all the time. It’s just not reported. It all has to do with your mind. If you will it hard enough and smoke some weed you can do it.”

“I got the weed part down pretty pat,” Bruce said. “But I don’t have the will.”

“Yes ya do,” Jake said. “You’re just itching to tell me about the time you was John Kennedy Jr.”

“Don’t tell anyone, okay,” Bruce said.

“Okay your secret is kept with me,” Jake said. “You know me I don’t say anything I know about.”

“You don’t know about nothing,” Bruce said.

“Just in case I remember something I won’t remember it because or you,” Jake said. “Now tell me about switching with the Kennedy dude!”

“I can’t fly,” Bruce said.

“Oh no, dude!, You didn’t!” Jake said.

“I pulled back to me seconds before the crash,” Bruce said. “Remember not a word.”

“Oh man, I got to go to the papers with this one,” Jake said.

“But dude, you promised,” Bruce said.

“Yeah, man, a man’s word is his bond,” Jake said. “I never told the cops where your stash was.”

“Now what about you,” Bruce said.

“Dude look at me,” Jake said. “I’m a poster child for not trading places with somebody. Sometimes you can’t pull back. You’re stuck in that person.”

“What do you mean?” Bruce said.

“I switched when I was young and was never able to get back to me,” Jake said. “It’s a disaster.”

“What do you mean?” Bruce said.

“I was in my twenties,” Jake said. “All I wanted was drugs, sex, and rock n roll.”

“So did you get it?” Bruce said.

“Sure did,” Jake said.


“I picked the wrong guy,” Jake said. “I thought it was the right guy. Not the front man or lead singer. The guy in the background that nobody notices, but still have all the fun.”

“Like how could you pick the wrong guy?” Bruce said.

“Dude, look at me!” Jake said. “Who wants to look like Keith Richards?”


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